Dating standards no longer black and white

Who gave black women the idea that they were only limited to dating one race? 

I find it incredibly absurd that society has swayed us into thinking that we must only take part in relationships with men of the same ethnic background.

According to an article in the Wall Street Journal by Richard Banks, a black Stanford law professor, “Black women confront the worst relationship market of any group because of economic and cultural forces that are not of their own making; and they have (limited) themselves to black men.”

Many aspects of society have taught black women that they could never be found attractive by the opposite sex, let alone engage in a full on relationship with someone of a different ethnicity, especially white men.

Society produces the image that black women aren’t “good enough” or “attractive enough” to date a white man. 

But I have news for society: Interracial dating and relationships that involve black women and white men are on the rise.
Believe it or not, white men can’t get enough of black women.

There are also white men who are also not afraid to express their attraction to black women.

In response to an article posted on, titled “Why White Men Love Black Women,” a white male user by the name of Dajomor stated that he had been involved with a black woman, and had grown to love her dearly. He also went on to reveal at least 50 percent of the women in his life are of color, and that he has a very strong attraction to them.

Believe it or not, as a black woman, white men are the ones that approach me on a regular basis — and more than any other ethnicity.

I cannot count how many times I’ve been out with my girlfriends and a white guy has approached me with the intent to get to know me. 

Just a week ago, a white guy slipped me his number and asked if I would be interested in going out on a date with him.
I’ve asked the white men that have shown interest in me what they find intriguing about black women. 

Most of their responses consist of being attracted to their confidence, ability to succeed regardless of the pressures that society has bound them with and their sassiness. 

Some just say they love a black woman’s appearance in general.

A profound amount of white men love the variety they get in the black woman’s skin complexion, her curves, and quite simply, the way that she struts her stuff.
When asked if they were attracted to black women on, a man who identified himself as white answered, “Hell yes black women are sexy; of course that statement is tampered by a few things that I’ve always looked for in all women: style, sophistication, loyalty and self esteem.”

Nevertheless, considering that some black women do fit the stereotypes that tend to scare white men away, it is important and only realistic to remember that all black women do not fall into these categories.

Just like anyone else, we are all different in the way we carry ourselves and present our identities to society.

There needs to be more white men coming of the shadows and going for black women they have considered attractive.

Some white men are afraid to approach black women because they feel as if a black woman wouldn’t be interested in them. 

But this cannot be further from the truth.

This also means that black women are going to have to come out of their shells more often to take advantage of the larger dating pool society has to offer.

As black women, we need to stop focusing so much on what the media and society has to say about who we choose to be with.

It’s time for black women to ask that white guy they’ve been eyeing for quite some time now out on a date.

ajai guyot